Local Kids vs. Our Kids*

(note - 'local' means Hawaiian)

American Kids: Move out when they're 18 with the full support oftheir parents.
Local Kids: Move out when they're 28, may have saved for that nicehouse and are always a week away from getting married .... Unless there's room in the basement for the newlyweds.

American Kids: When their Mom visits them shebrings a nice bundtcake and you sip coffee and chat.
Local Kids: When their Mom visits them she brings 3 days worth of food, and immediately begins to tidy up, dust & do the laundry.

American Kids: Their dads always call before they come over to visitthem and its usually only on special occasions.
Local Kids: Are not at all fazed when their dads come over,unannounced on a Saturday morning at 8:00 and starts pruning the peach & lemon trees. And if there are none, he will plant some!

American Parents: You can leave your kids with them and you always worry if everything is going to be ok plus you have to feed them after you pick them up.

Local Parents: No problem, leave your kids there and if they get out of line your parents can set them straight .... plus they get bathed, fed and get told stories of when you were young.

American Kids: Always pay retail and look in the yellow pages when they need something done.
Local Kids: Just call their dad or uncle and ask for another dad's or uncle's phone number to get it done cash deal.

American Kids: Will come over to visit their parents and get only cake and coffee, no more.
Local Kids: Will come over to visit their parents for lunch and get B-B-Q, noodles, Lumpia or pupus, Adobo and rice and stay for late dinner as well.

American Kids: Think that being "local" is a great thing.
Local Kids: Know that being Local is a great thing.

American Kids: Never ask the reason you have no food.
Local Kids: Are the reason you have no food.

American Kids: Will say 'hello" but are hesitant to hug.

Local Kids: Will give you a big hug and/or a kiss, and great big hand shake and pat you on the back.

American Kids: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
Local Kids: Call your parents Uncle & Auntie.

American Kids: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
Local Kids: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.

American Kids: Would knock on your door.
Local Kids: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"

*sent by Organic Bunion's MIL.

My Hero.

I won't post the original video here, because well, I value my life...but if you haven't seen the original, WHERE have you been? (perhaps you're one of the missing Bunions that haven't posted yet...)

And now...
A Life Lesson from Britney Shakespeares:

So like, when I heard that mom decided to put her book about parenting on hold my first reaction was, "Ma wrote a book?"

Writing a book is hard, y'all. There's all these words 'n stuff y'all have to know, and y'all have to check yer facts. It's not like writing fer tabloids. They can just make crap up.

My point? If y'all are going to write a book on parenting that is really just a way to ride on yer way successful daughter's coattails, then y'all better make sure that y'all hire a rilly good ghostrider.

I know I want Nick Cage to ride my next book.

Also, if ya'll are gonna get knocked up by one of the paraparazzi, make sure ya'll get a percentage of the baby photos revenoo.

I may be crazy, ya'll, but I ain't stoopid.

Hello, Bunions?

I know there's a strike going on, but why aren't the other Bunions posting?

Somebody hose me down

Dedicated to Paul Tolme.

Who weaseled his way into our hearts.

**MWAH**

It had to be done...

In honour of Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Novels, and Nora Roberts.

You guys are made of WIN!

New Year, New Books

Look what Hubs gave me for Christmas...

The Anatomy of Story is John Truby's first book based on his popular screenwriting class, Great Screenwriting. Not only does he combine every right thing you've ever learned about writing and then some, he also points out pitfalls, mistakes that'll ruin your story, and offers fresh approach to character building. I've learned so much from this book, I'm wondering what a class with him in person could do for me.

Save the Cat! Part 2 (Blake Snyder hates sequels, so he called this Save the Cat! Goes to the Movies) is the much anticipated, um, er, sequel to his first book. He uses techniques he wrote about in Part 1 to dissect and reveal various blockbuster movies in every genre. I especially love the section on Legally Blonde - one of my favorite movies of all time - I always knew it wasn't just just a chick flick, but a screenwriting masterpiece!

And if you missed his first book, you have to check it out, it'll blow minds and open eyes. My writing partners (yes, there's more than one of you, get over it) and I refer to it as our Bible -

I give all these books 10 toes out of 10. I can read 'em over and over again.

O. Bunion

Book Review: Think of England by Frigid Johns

Unlike Frigid's last book, It's Migraine and I'll Cry If I Want To, she seem to have lost her touch and I mean that literally. Her top 250 excuses not to have sex peter out after about number sixty-nine.
Personally, this book left me cold.
Except for the bit about training the Corgies to use the loo.

I give it 5 toes out of 10.

Canuck Bunion